Is this official?

How do you know when your relationship has went from “dating” to “official”? Does it have to be verbally stated in order to be official? I think there are certain things that have to take place in order for me to consider it official. If you have told me that we are together but other key events haven’t taken place, then it still isn’t real to me. A title doesn’t mean anything without the actions to support it. 

For me, one of the key aspects to being official is when you have met the other person’s family/friends and vice versa. If I have not met the key people in your life, how serious are you about me? If our world and your family world is separate, then I wonder about my position in your life. When someone is truly serious and wants to be with you, they will introduce you to the people who’s opinion matters to them the most. This includes both close friends and family, especially their parents. If we have been going strong for a while and I still haven’t been introduced to your parents and siblings, I really question your commitment to me.  Do you invite me to family parties? Am I ever invited to hang out with your friends? Spending time apart and having your own life is important, but if I am never incorporated into your social life, then what message does that send to me?

Another key aspect to making it official to me is being public. I’m not saying you have to post pictures of us on social media every day, but if there is not one picture of me or of us together, I start to wonder about your level of commitment to me. Are you keeping us hidden from your social media following because you want to maintain a single image? Are you hoping that you have another option from your list of followers if things don’t work out between us?

Public displays of affection……I’m not a fan of the whole making out in public thing but I do like hand holding or having an arm out around me sometimes. It raises a red flag if you can’t hold my hand in public. 

Another important part of being in a commitment is being there in not only good times, but bad times as well. When we get into an argument, do you reach out and try to fix it or do you disappear? If you run off every time we argue and don’t attempt to find a solution to the problem, that shows me you have poor coping skills and I cannot rely on you.

Spending time is so very important in a relationship, whether in the beginning or later on in the relationship. If you say we are together but do not make effort to see me or spend time with me, then I am better off alone. How can we bond and grow if we barely see each other? 

Communication: if I tell you that something bothers me, will you compromise or will you tell me too bad? If I am asking something reasonable of you, then I would think its not a big deal to find a happy medium. The same applies for me.  If having my exes picture up on my Instagram or Facebook bothers you, I will take it down with no hesitation. Why? Because you mean more to me than a picture from one year ago. If I have a male friend that you have never met and me hanging out with them makes you uncomfortable, I will introduce you to them or invite you to hang out with us so you can see you have nothing to worry about. When someone isn’t willing to compromise, they are selfish and your feelings are not their priority. 

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