Do you wear your wedding band?

The other day I was watching my son during  karate class and I noticed one of the fathers standing next to me wasn’t wearing his wedding ring. Then I looked at another father and he didn’t have on his wedding ring, either. I’ve known many married men that do not wear their wedding ring. Most married women I know do wear their wedding ring, however.

I posted on Facebook and asked my friends if they wear their wedding ring. The majority answered that they do not and neither does their partner. One of my female friends said that she is busy with her three kids and simply does not remember to put it on. She said that her husband does wear his band but she wouldn’t mind if he didn’t. They have been married for about 11 years. Another woman that has been married for 20 years said that neither her nor her husband wear their bands.She also said that they have been married for so long neither one of them cares.

One Facebook friend who is newly married said she would be very upset if her husband didn’t wear his band. I agreed and said I would be upset too, but then again I’m not married and maybe after 10-20 years it wouldn’t be a deal breaker to me either.

So is it that longer married couples don’t wear their wedding bands as frequently as newly married couples? Does your wedding band become another fancy piece of jewelry that only gets worn on special occasions, or maybe never at all? I always looked at the wedding band as a symbol of your vows and commitment to one another and I personally feel there is a level of disrespect when you do not wear it. 

What do you think? Do you or your partner always wear your wedding ring, and why?

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Spike’s a survivor 

The other night, my son and I fed crickets to our baby bearded dragon, Spike. The following day, Spike was not himself. 
He hadn’t eaten all of the crickets that I put in his tank the night before and I made the mistake of leaving the remaining crickets in there overnight, thinking he would eat them the next day. The next morning, the crickets had taken over his tank and were hanging out on his vine and Spike looked distraught. He was laying flat and his little hands were trembling. We killed the crickets and took Spike out. He started shaking in a seizure like manner. My mom wrapped him in a little hand towel and we called vets in our area and finally found one that deals with exotic animals. 

We brought him to the clinic immediately and found out that he was having a calcium deficiency seizure. The vet asked if we had a light in the tank. I told him that we had a heat lamp. I didn’t know that you needed a UVB lamp in addition to the heat lamp. The UVB lamp is what helps the reptiles to produce Vitamin D which in turn breaks down the calcium. 

The vet gave Spike a calcium injection and dewormed him in case he had any parasites. He gave us a calcium medication to give two times a day. He also gave him an enema becauae there was a chance that he was impacted due to not being able to break down the food. The vet was great and gave us a lot of helpful tips that the person who sold him to me didn’t tell me. 

Spike came home that night and did not want to be put down. He wanted to be warm in the towel and held. Two days later, Spike is now much better. He’s still a bit tired and wants to be held, but he is moving around and getting his calcium medication. We bought a cricket holder and put dry dog food in there and a sliced grape. Usually I buy him single serving of crickets and feed him that. The vet said to put the crickets in a case with food so that they load up with nutrients, this way when spike eats them he will get more nutrients. I also purchased the UVB lamp and calcium powder. I did not know that you have to put the powder ok the crickets before feeding. I bought some kale and put that in his tank as well sprinkled with some vitamins as he doesn’t take to the collars greens. 

Thank you to the vet who squeezed us in at the end of the night even though he was booked and thank you to the veterinarian receptionist who called the next day to check on Spike. My son is ecstatic that his pet is better and I’m so proud of him as well for how concerned he was about Spike. He constantly checks on him and let’s me know it’s time to give his medicine. 


This is a bearded dragon that we held in the pet store when we went to buy Spike the additional items he needed. He’s really cute and friendly and I can’t wait to see Spike when he is this big.

Dating a single mother


Dating as a single mom is not easy. The biggest problem that I have faced is finding the time to actually go out on dates. When you don’t have a child, you can up and go as you please. You don’t have to worry about finding childcare. For me personally, my son goes to his father every other weekend. So I do have those weekends free, but most people don’t want to hear that you can only see them every other weekend. It’s very difficult to really get to know someone and form that bond when you are not spending time together in between. I am not able to get together after work because I have to pick up my son, do homework and everything else that is part of the daily after work routine. Most days, it’s hard to even find time to devote to a live phone conversation. Between cooking dinner, running errands, homework and bed prep there really is no time to talk. By the time my son is asleep I barely have any energy left. Text messaging is a god sent for these reasons but it’s nice to have that real conversation sometimes, to hear the other person’s laugh and tone of voice. Many people are not understanding when you say that you can’t call until 10 pm when everything is calm and settled. I’ve had people that caught an attitude if I took long to respond to text because I was in the middle of dinner or helping with homework. 
When I say that I can’t go out every weekend, that is also an issue. Someone once told me that they are worried about getting involved because what will happen when they miss me and want to see me during the week? It’s a struggle because I don’t want to introduce my son to anyone too early on so I can’t even offer the option of stopping by to see me and then even after some time does pass, many men seem to be wary of doing anything that involves incorporating my son into. I’ve only found one person that actually invited my son to come along. Otherwise, I have not had that luck. 

One man told me that a lot of men are hesitant when it comes to dating someone with a child because they think that means they will be obligated to take care of the child or to step in line as a second father. I am not looking for a replacement father as he already has one. I am not looking for someone to chip in financially for my sons needs. 

Dating a single mom takes someone who is patient and understanding. Someone who understands that while you are not expected to play step daddy, that child is part of the package and will at some point have to be incorporated into things. 

I’ve found that men with a child are a little bit more understanding of things, however, unless they have custody, they still don’t grasp the whole lack of time dilemma as they do not have their child for most of the week. 

Men with a child do seem to be a bit more interested as well when it comes to you talking about your child. Men that I’ve dated without a child seem to be lost when I talk about my son or something he did that I thought was cute or made me proud. Men with children appreciate and can relate to those feelings and experiences that you are referring to more. 

I’ve seen women with a child, sometimes more than one, that have found happiness and love with a man who is not the father. Some of them have remarried or moved on together and it makes me wonder how they got to that point as I struggle with even maintaining a consistent dating routine with one person. 

So to anyone facing the same situation, I say this. One day, the right man will come along. He will understand that a little patience, effort and consistency will all be worth it in the end. He will appreciate the sacrifices made by a single mother.

Click the link above to watch Alicia Keys “Superwoman” music video

Meet Spike

So we bought a bearded dragon last week. While in Ocean City my son saw another child buying a lizard and wanted one. I said that I wasn’t buying a lizard and keeping him in the car for six hours as I figured he would probably die from anxiety before we made it home. This led to me taking a trip to the pet store the next day with my son. We ended up ordering a baby bearded dragon.  


Meet Spike everyone! Spike is just two weeks old. I was surprised at how small he is considering how big they get when they reach maturity.  Spike should grow to be about two feet long. From what I hear, bearded dragons are great pets and very friendly. The pet store owner compared them to lap dogs as they love to be held. I think this is true because when we put him back in his cage he starts scratching the glass. 


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So the whole feeding crickets thing isn’t really my thing but I decided to just buy enough for each feeding because there’s no way I’m storing bugs in my house. The rest of his feedings are just fresh fruits and veggies. 


Spike likes to skinny dip from time to time. 

What’s on the menu?


Tonight I made lasagna and spaghetti with veggies sautéed in oil and and butter. 

I pre heated a pan with about a tbsp of oil and about 3-4 tbsp of butter. I kept it on medium heat. Once hot, I added mushrooms, sliced green peppers, sliced onions and carrots. Stir occasionally and sauté until soft and pour entire mix into your pasta. 

For the lasagna, you can put ricotta cheese, shredded mozzarella cheese, tomato sauce, diced green peppers and cooked chopped meat in between each layer of lasagna. Cover baking pan with foil and cook at 375 for 20 minutes. 

Mangia!

Homemade mac and cheese


This is a simple and easy recipe for homemade Mac and cheese. I have been a long time lover of this dish and my son can easily eat three servings of this.

Ingredients:

1 box elbow or shells macaroni

2 tbsp butter

1/4 cup milk

2 eggs

2 packages shredded cheese (cheddar, white or both)

Bread crumb

Paprika

Directions:

Cook pasta as directed

Pre heat oven to 375 degrees

Place cooked pasta in a baking dish and mix in eggs, milk and butter

Put half of each cheese on pasta and sprinkle bread crumbs then mix

Put remaining half of cheese on top of pasta and sprinkle breadcrumb and paprika

Cover with foil and cook for 20 minutes


I used as a side with fried chicken, mixed frozen veggies and platanos (sweet plantains). You can check out previous post for how to make platanos. 

Enjoy!

Arroz con gandules and platanos maduros


This is a quick and easy recipe for arroz con gandules (rice and pigeon peas) and platanos maduros (sweet plantains). 

Arroz con gandules:

1 can pigeon peas

1 cup rice

1 1/2 cup water

1 packet Sazon

Half onion (chopped)

Half pepper (chopped)

1 tsp oregano

2 tsp cilantro

1 tbsp garlic

1 can Goya tomato sauce 

1 tbsp olive oil


Heat oil in a pot on medium heat. Add onions, garlic and pepper and stir frequently for about 10 minutes.

Add Sazon,tomato sauce, water, cilantro 

Add rice and stir to coat with oil and mix with other ingredients

Add water. Cook uncovered until water is gone. 

Lower heat to very low, cover and simmer for 15 minutes. 


Platanos maduros:

2-3 plantains that are very ripe, near black skin

Oil

Heat oil in a pan until very hot

Meanwhile, peel plantains and cut off ends

Cut each plantain in half and then slice each half down the middle


Add plantains to oil. Oil should be enough to cover the plantains. 

Cook on medium heat for 10 minutes

Lower heat and cook for 15 minutes, turning plantains occasionally, until brown.

Put on a plate covered with paper towel if you want to absorb some of the oil.

Buen provecho!

Lemonade: A Visual Album by Beyoncé 

 

  What’s worse…..looking jealous or looking crazy? 

  I ain’t thinkin bout you……middle fingers up. Wave it in his face, tell him boy bye.

  From Monday to Friday she has tears in her eyes. From Friday to Sunday she has stars in her eyes 
  
  
My daddy warned me about men like you. He said baby girl he’s playin you.

   
  Why do you deny yourself heaven? Why do you think you are undeserving?

  Forgiveness: If we’re gonna heal, let it be glorious. 

“And I know I promised I wouldn’t stay, every promise don’t work out that way.” 

  
Imma keep running cause a winner don’t quit on themselves.

Nothing REAL can be threatened.